Wished: A Blaze of Glory Christmas Read online

  “Now?” I ask, looking toward Stone as he steps through the door. He has an incredibly worried look on his face, and to be honest, it’s not exactly comforting. “What’s going on?”

  “Don’t ask fucking questions,” Bullet yells, giving me a small push. “Let’s go. Grab the kid and get in the car.”

  Pulling on the clean, black shirt Stone throws at me, I gather Sunshine into my arms and I carry her outside where I find Bullet’s car still idling. There’s a new looking baby capsule in the back seat, and I carefully strap Sunshine in before settling beside her. By the time I have my own seat belt on, Stone and Bullet have joined me in the car. They say nothing as the car backs out of the parking lot and speeds off down the street.

  Bullet keeps glancing in the rearview mirror, as though he’s afraid that we’re being followed or something. But the only other vehicle is a snow plow, slowly rumbling its way down the other side of the street, clearing a path for the traffic.

  “What is going on?” I demand, leaning over the back of the driver’s seat and glaring at Bullet. “What have you done?”

  “Me?” Echoes Bullet in disbelief. He sounds furious. “I didn’t do shit. You’re the murderer here, not me.”

  “That’s not fair,” I protest. “That guy put my girlfriend, and Stone’s wife through fucking hell. He was going to kill me if I hadn’t killed him first.”

  “It’s okay,” Stone says quietly. “It never happened.”

  I look over at him in surprise. “What?” I ask. “What do you mean, it never happened? Stone, I killed Troy.”

  “No, you didn’t,” Bullet says, dragging my eyes back to him. His jaw is clenched tight. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Now shut up and sit back.”

  I sit back with a loud huff, crossing my arms over my chest in annoyance.

  That annoyance fades, though, when I see the lights of a house up ahead.

  Stone’s house.

  Glancing down at Sunshine who has fallen back asleep, a knot forms in my throat, one I can’t swallow. My chest squeezes tight and my palms begin to sweat.

  We pull up out the front of Stone’s house and the door flies open, Zeke and Shannon rushing down the front steps.

  “Remember,” Bullet cautions, looking over his shoulder at me. “Not a fucking word.”

  I swallow hard and force myself to nod in agreement.

  Stone jumps out of the car and wraps Shannon in his arms, holding her tight. I take an extra minute to get out of the car, my legs shaking.

  “Hey, Bullet, what are you doing here?” Shannon asks as she pulls away from Stone.

  “Stone saw me in town, invited me to come and spend Christmas with you all.”

  Shannon glances at Stone, who nods quickly in affirmation.

  “Hey,” Zeke says, pointing into the back of the car. “Who’s that?”

  My heart thuds in my chest as Shannon leans down and peers into the back seat.

  “Oh my fucking God,” she breathes, her hand over her chest and her eyes as wide as saucers.

  “Where’s Natalie?” I ask.

  “In the shower,” she answers distractedly. “Is that…?”

  “Yes,” Stone places his hand gently on her shoulder. “That’s your niece. Help us bring her inside, it’s freezing out here.”

  I unbuckle Sunshine from her car seat and gently lift her out, but she’s immediately swooped out of my arms by a hovering Aunty Shannon. I grin as she cradles her close, kissing her soft cheek as she carries her inside. “It’s okay, Princess. Aunty Shan has got you.”

  We follow her inside, and Zeke prepares a space for Sunshine by laying a blanket in front of the fireplace, far away enough that it’s not dangerous.

  “How did you get her?” Shannon asks, unwilling to let the baby go.

  “It’s a long story,” Stone says. “Is there any dinner left? I’m fucking starving.”

  “Watch your fucking language,” she snaps at him, and I smother my laugh with an exaggerated cough.

  “Come on, Bullet, let’s get some food.”

  “Right,” Bullet answers, looking back and forth between us. “Here,” he says awkwardly, handing me a small parcel. “There’s diapers, formula and a few bottles in there.”

  “Thank you, Bullet,” Shannon smiles at him. He gives her a stiff smile in return, before following Stone into the kitchen.

  They leave the room together and Zeke goes back into his room, leaving Shannon and I all alone with Sunshine.

  “You know, she hasn’t eaten in a few hours,” I point out, glancing at the closed bathroom door as the shower is turned off.

  Shannon takes the hint, and gently places Sunshine on the warmed blanket and disappears into the kitchen after Stone and Bullet.

  Climbing to my feet, I rake one hand through my hair before smoothing down my shirt. I hate to admit it, and I’d most likely lie under oath, but I’m terrified. How will Natalie react to seeing her daughter for the first time since she gave birth to her three months ago?

  The bathroom door opens and Natalie walks out into the living room. She’s wearing one of my long tee shirts with no shorts on underneath, drying her blond hair with a fluffy pink towel.

  “Natalie,” I say quietly, walking to stand in front of her. She lifts her eyes to me, but they’re sad and tired looking; she looks defeated.

  I swallow hard and decide that there are no words that I can say to my girlfriend right now to ease her pain. Instead, all I can do is show her.

  Stepping back, I close my eyes and wait.

  “Oh my fucking God,” she cries, and my eyes snap open as she starts crying. Racing forward, she drops to her knees beside her daughter, gathering her up into her arms and planting soft kisses all over her face and hands. “Oh my God,” she says again.

  Dropping to my knees beside her, I hold Natalie as she holds Sunshine. The moment is so overwhelming that I feel tears spring to my eyes and I focus on quickly blinking them back, my throat tight and constricting as I watch the sadness melt away from Natalie just like a popsicle on a hot, Summer’s day. My girl has her daughter back, and I would kill a thousand Troy’s to see the smile that slowly spreads across her face as she looks up at me. “It’s a miracle, Keets,” she whispers, her long, dark lashes wet with tears, her voice trembling with so much emotion. “It’s a Christmas miracle.”

  I smile gently as I drop a kiss on her forehead, gently smoothing the tiny frown lines with my hand. “Shannon is getting her a bottle,” I tell Natalie quietly.

  “How did you do this?” she asks, gazing down Sunshine. “I still don’t understand how she’s here.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I answer quickly, a slight frown crossing my features, the image of Troy’s broken body in my mind ruining this perfect moment. “Don’t you worry about any of that, okay? You hear me, Natalie? Sunshine is here with you, she’s home; that’s all that matters.”

  “Hey,” Shannon says quietly from behind us. We both turn as she kneels down and passes Natalie over a warmed bottle of formula with a gentle smile. “Would you like to feed your daughter?”

  “Of course,” Natalie sobs, taking the bottle gratefully and pressing it to Sunshine’s lips. The baby girl immediately latches on to the teat, feeding hungrily. “Look, Shan,” Natalie cries with obvious delight. “She’s doing it.”

  “No,” Shannon shakes her head. “You’re doing it, Nat. You, my baby sister, you’re a natural mom, I’m so damn proud of you right now.” She drops a soft kiss on Natalie’s hair and stands up, giving me a small smile. “Thank you, Keets,” she tells me. “For whatever you did.”

  I nod at her, swallowing past the large lump in my throat.

  “I’m going to go to bed, Nat, are you going to be okay?”

  “I’m perfect,” Natalie says, not looking at her older sister as Sunshine continues to drink from the bottle. Shannon gives me a wide, genuine smile, patting me on the shoulder as she passes. A moment later the bedroom door closes, leaving Natalie and myself alone wit
h Sunshine.

  “She’s so beautiful,” Natalie whispers, her eyes still on her daughter.

  “She looks just like her mother,” I whisper back, tucking her hair across one shoulder and kissing her neck in the small, tender space behind her ear.

  “Except for her aunt’s curls,” Natalie giggles, and my smile gets even wider at the sound.

  “It’s been so long since I heard you laugh,” I tell her.

  “It’s been so long since I had a reason to laugh,” Natalie replies.

  Sunshine finishes her bottle, and after a quick diaper change and a burp, she’s taken into the spare bedroom and placed into another makeshift crib, made out of the bottom drawer of the wardrobe.

  “I can’t stand leaving her,” Natalie whispers, standing above Sunshine, gazing down at her.

  “We’re right in the next room,” I reassure her as I stand behind her. Wrapping my arms around her, I softly kiss the nape of her neck, my fingers stretching across her ribcage and lightly touching the underside of her breast.

  Natalie leans her head back against my shoulder, sighing with happiness. Taking her hand in mine, I lead her from the room, gently closing the bedroom door halfway, leaving it open enough for us to hear if Sunshine wakes up again.

  Stretching out on the blanket in front of the fire, I take my time as I kiss her. We haven’t been intimate since Sunshine was born, and I’m determined to take it slowly and make this count.

  For both of us.

  Natalie sighs and wraps her arms around my neck, her lips parting slightly as she allows me access to her mouth. Our tongues dual as though they are dancing, and my hands slide down her body until they reach her long, smooth, bare legs. Reaching under the shirt she’s wearing, I’m both stunned and delighted to realise that she’s not wearing any panties.

  “Really, Nat?” I gasp as I pull my lips away from her. “What if someone had noticed?”

  “I don’t care, she groans. “I’ve waited far too long for this moment, don’t spoil it now by over thinking. Just make love to me Keets, please. The way that you used to do.”

  I need no further encouragement.

  Spreading her legs further apart, I kiss my way down her throat. Bunching her shirt up in my hands, I push it up until it sits above her breasts. Sitting back on my knees, I drink in the sight of her laying beneath me. Her body is fuller since she gave birth, her breasts larger and ever so slightly lopsided. There are stretch marks across her stomach, and her thighs are thicker.

  As though knowing my thoughts, her hands move to cover her breasts, her arms crossing over her stomach. With a growl, I capture both of her hands and pin them to the floor above her head.

  “No,” I murmur against her lips. “Don’t even think about it. You’re fucking beautiful; every. last. inch.” Determined to prove that my words are true, and not just some bullshit that she wants to hear, I kiss my way down her body, paying special homage to every single stretch mark as I go.

  Before long, my face is between her thighs and I breathe in her scent deeply, closing my eyes as her pussy clenches right in front of me.

  If I’m not careful, this night will be over before it even begins.

  Grabbing her thighs with both of my hands, I yank her closer toward me, burying my face into her pussy as my tongue slides between the lips. She groans loudly, her hands clutching at my hair, almost tearing it form the scalp in her frenzied, desperate need.

  My lips wrap around her clit, sucking it firmly into my mouth and worrying it gently with my teeth. She tries to close her legs, the pressure too much, but I’ve waited too long to do this, so she’s going to lay back and enjoy every moment of it. Keeping my hands on her thighs, I force them open as wide as they’ll go, opening her up to me like a flower. Nibbling on her clit, I press my fingers into her soft thighs. My own pants are so tight that I feel like they may burst at the seams.

  Reaching down with one hand, I try to adjust my growing hardness discreetly, but Natalie notices. Pushing herself up, she moves away from my mouth kneels in front of me. Her hands go to the front of my pants, her fingers trembling so much that she can’t unbutton them. My cock is straining to break free, and I groan loudly as her clumsy fingers stroke my length through my pants.

  Unable to wait, I push her hands away and make short work of unbuttoning my pants, shoving them down over my hips. Her hands move to the edge of my shirt and pull it off in one quick movement. Too late, I remember the injury that I’m hiding from her, and try to grab my shirt back. But it’s too late.

  She’s seen it.

  “What the hell happened?” She gasps, her hands flying to her mouth, covering it in shock.

  “Nothing,” I tell her, trying to brush away her concerns with another kiss, but she pulls back.

  “That is not nothing,” she says, indicating to my makeshift bandage. “What happened, Keets?”

  I stare at her for a long moment, but then shake my head. “I can’t tell you that babe,” I say, my voice full of the regret I’m feeling. “Not yet, anyway.”

  “What do you mean, not yet?” she asks, her eyes narrowing at me. “What’s really going on, Damien? How did you really get Sunshine back?”

  “Why does it matter?” I growl, getting angry now. I’ve risked not only my life, but also Stone and Bullet’s lives, and she’s going to get angry at me? My erection deflated, I stand up and pull my shirt back on, walking through to the kitchen.

  “Where are you going?” Natalie demands, stomping after me. She stops and leans against the doorframe, watching me warily as I drink a mouthful of orange juice straight from the carton in the fridge. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I put the juice back in the fridge and shurt the door. “Are you going to answer me?” she asks, and I let out a loud sigh.

  “Look, I can’t tell you, okay? Just fucking drop it.”

  “Drop it?” she practically screeches. “Drop it? You know what? Fuck you, Keets.” She turns and stomps into the spare bedroom, flicking on the light and dragging a suitcase out of the wardrobe. I follow her and stand in the doorway, watching as she gathers up all of her clothes and dumps them into the suitcase. A quick glance at Sunshine tells me that she’s still sound asleep.

  “Where are you going?” I ask Natalie.

  “I can’t be here right now,” she answers, not looking at me as she throws more things into the suitcase. “I need time to think, and I can’t do that around you.”

  “Why not?” I ask.

  “Because,” she pauses packing as she stands up straight, turns and looks at me. “Because you’re lying to me. I can’t deal with that.”

  “I’m not lying to you,” I argue. “I’m just not telling you everything.”

  Fucking hell, that sounds lame even to me.

  “That’s practically the same thing,” she says as she resumes packing.

  “Look, Natalie,” I say as I walk toward her, grabbing her shoulders and stilling her movements. “Can’t you just trust me?”

  “How can I?” she asks, turning to face me again, tears pooling in her big, blue eyes. “How can I trust you when you can’t tell me the truth?” She shrugs away from me and zips up the suitcase, carrying it through to the living room.

  “So that’s it then, huh?” I ask, following her through into the living room. I’m getting angry now. “How dare you make assumptions or pretend you know what’s going on. You have no idea of the hell I’ve been through tonight-”

  “Because you won’t tell me,” she explodes, spinning on her heel and poking me hard in the chest. “Do you have any idea what that’s like?” She walks back into the bedroom, returning a moment later with a still sleeping Sunshine, wrapped securely in a blanket.

  “Natalie,” I follow her as she walks outside. “Look, where are you going to go? It’s Christmas Eve, and it’s snowing. If you won’t think of yourself, at least think of Sunshine.”

  She pauses, my words seeming to have the effect of throwing a bucket of ice water on her head. I re
gret my words almost instantly, but force myself to stand there, ready to accept her anger.

  “Do not,” she says in a low voice. “Ever accuse me of not thinking about my daughter. She is all I’ve thought about for the past three months. She is the most important person in my life, and if you can’t handle that, then maybe you don’t deserve either one of us.”

  I stand there helplessly as she loads Sunshine carefully into Bullet’s car, tossing her suitcase onto the back seat and slipping behind the wheel. But before she drives away, I make one final, ditch attempt to get her to stay.

  “Please,” I beg her, grabbing the edge of the open window. “Don’t do this, Natalie.”

  She pauses, her hands on the steering wheel, tears pouring down her cheeks. “Tell me the truth,” she begs. I stare at her for a long moment, before letting my hand drop away from the window and taking a step back.

  She bites her bottom lip, before giving me a small nod. “That’s what I thought,” she whispers. “Goodbye, Keets.”

  She pulls the car away from the house, and like the spineless, pathetic bastard that I am, I watch her go and I say nothing.

  “What the hell?” Bullet and Stone come running out of the house and Bullet charges down the stairs. “Where the hell is she going?”

  “I don’t know,” I tell him. “I couldn’t get her to stay.”

  “What happened?” Stone asks.

  “She asked me that same question,” I glance up at him at the top of the stairs. “I told her that I couldn’t answer that right now.”

  “So you just let her leave?” Bullet asks incredulously.

  “What choice did I have?”

  “You idiot,” he yells, shoving me so hard that I land in the snow, the wound in my side burning as it reopens. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done? Stone,” he turns to Stone, who’s gripping the railing, his face as white as a ghost. “Get your keys, we have to go after her.”